Sunday, 12 September 2010

Who would put themselves through this?

I am writing this post because pregnancy does whizz by too fast and I would like a record of some of it. More importantly, this post will remind me that being pregnant always seems a more attractive proposition than it actually is. I remember looking enviously at my workmate Emily last year, thinking 'aahh wasn't being pregnant lovely'. Right now I feel as though I have a crippling chronic illness that is stopping me doing a lot of things that I would like to do. Having a body that doesn't keep up with your mind is a bit soul destroying. Only six weeks left...

Incidentally, I copied this photo idea from the Martha website, it actually looked nicer in her pictures, but what can you do. The project is also supposed to be done from the beginning of your pregnancy to give you a 'flick book' at the end, making it just a bit pointless for me to start now...but here it is anyway.

Here comes the rant...I am short of breath at rest, I find myself stood or sat and all of a sudden feel like a have climbed stairs and it takes five or six big breaths to get back to normal. This makes me panic a bit. I am experiencing this three or four times a day. I can't climb the stairs without getting a heavy flushing sensation in my arms and legs which usually necessitates a bit of a lie down. As for walking the dog... it is something that I dread because it is like really pushing yourself on a treadmill without the wonderful endorphine release that you get with real exercise.

As well as insomnia, bedtime is an unpleasant experience. I feel decidedly unwell when I lay on my back, this is apparently due to the baby impeding blood flow back to the heart. However, to turn over is an aerobic exercise in itself, requiring that I wake up to do so. My stomach is quite solid now and feels like a bag of spanners. It is often easy to feel a foot or spine pressing upwards- which is as disgusting as it sounds. The baby is very mobile and you can feel lots of kicking and shifting about which is actually a nice feeling. However, these movements are sometimes so strong that it physically rocks my body in the bed. It has to be a boy, yeah?

Saying all this, I have escaped developing cankles and a fat nose. My hair is lovely and thick and I am currently off work for six months. So I must try to keep the bitching to a minimum. It will all be worth it in the end.

I should 'man-up' because this is probably the last time I will ever be in this situation. I always wanted three children because I have good memories of being one of three. Craig has always said he wants two children because his experience of being one of three is more 'two-against-one'. My brother also reminded us that it can make a lot of difference being a two compared to a three child family, when buying cars and holidays etc. Oh well we don't have to decide right away...

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